The Big Decision

"Journey to a Better Me", "Diary of a Hungry Girl" -- all of those things sound so determined, and powerful and... so not where I am right now.  I started my journey to be a thinner version of myself -- more like my younger self -- back in November 2010.  Since that time, I have seesawed between having lost 10 pounds and having lost nothing.  As of today, I'm only down 1 pound from the weight I started at in November 2010.  Today is May 15, 2011.  This is my story.

I met my husband in November 2007.  We met, fell in love and as your typical fairytale story goes, we got married in October 2009 and lived happily ever after.  What the story books don't tell you, however, is after Cinderella married her prince, she put on "happy" weight, and started to look like a beached whale.  Not exactly a fairytale ending to the happy story, is it?  Let's not forget that Prince Charming stays eternally thin, making Cinderella feel an awful lot like Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy when they're out in public.

People eat for different reasons... boredom, habit, hunger, stress, inappropriate eating, obsessive eating, mindless eating, blah, blah, blah.  Every week I sit in my Weight Watchers meeting, and every week I see the successful people, and the less successful people.  I go because A) I pay $40 a month, so I want to get my money's worth and B) because I'm much worse off if I don't go.

When I'm held accountable for what I put in my mouth, I think about it.  When I think about it I'm more likely to make better choices.  "Show up, or blow up."  That's what they say in the meetings.  To a point, it's true.  I say to a point, because showing up to the meetings is only half the battle - not even.  It's a quarter of the battle.  The other three parts are get off your butt and excercise, be accountable for what you put in your mouth and make it your lifestyle to make better choices.

I could go on and on for hours about all the things a person "should" do to lose weight and be healthier.  I'm not here to write about what I should do.  I need a blog to keep me accountable.  Writing down the foods I eat in a journal just isn't how I deal with things.  In my darkest hours I turned to journaling and it truly helped to heal me.  Maybe with this blog I'll be more inclined to stick with it and make PROGRESS.  No more "shoulding" myself.  It's time to get skinny.